Job 10: The Truth in the Darkness

When you start to question God’s goodness, what helps you redirect your thoughts to truth?

I get caught up in truth versus Truth. “truth” tells me that if I was 10 pounds skinnier I’d be happy. “truth” tells me that being bubbly and positive all the time will make me friends. “truth” tells me that I have to have those pair of shoes because it’ll fulfill me. “truth” tells me once I get married my life will finally begin. Well in case you need a reminder today ladies: those are L-I-E-S. it’s the world’s ‘truths’ but it’s not God’s Truth. God’s Truth says you are holy and blameless (Eph 1:4). Truth says you are loved with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). Truth says that you are beautiful and your beauty comes from within (1 Peter 3:3-4). Truth says you can do it and He will help you through it (Josh 1:9).

These are some of the positive affirmations I have to tell myself daily [I have an index card full of ‘lies’ and ‘truths’ and constantly have to re-read them]. I’m convinced more than ever that Satan wants to kill our spirit of joy, because if we don’t have joy and love then we are not able to fulfill God’s command: LOVE.

When reading Job 10, we get a glimpse at the absolute despair that Job feels in his heart. I mean talk about a low point, he even says he loathes his very life (Job 10:1) and that he wishes he was never born (Job 10:18). I don't know about you, but when I get down and frustrated and just exhausted beyond repair, my attitude just goes down the toilet. I burn my toast in the toaster and suddenly I'm down this thought path:

- I burned my toast
- I can't do anything right
- I am a horrible cook, I can't even make toast
- I'm going to be late to work now
- I'm probably going to get fired because I'm horribly late
- I won't have a job and then I'll be miserable and penniless and have no prospects
- I'll be completely unwanted by an employer and a man because I don't have my life together
-I'm never going to get married

Anyone relate to Iris in The Holiday ... besides me?!

Wow. I went from I burnt my toast to no one will ever want to marry me in about 5 seconds. Our minds can jump from one thing to the next in a matter of moments and our attitude can go right with it. I find that I can relate to Job in chapter 10 here; I too go down the rabbit hole of pity and despair and it can get ugly. However, this rabbit hole is just a whole bunch of lies. Satan wants us to keep digging ourselves in these pits of lies because we cover ourselves up with darkness; and if we're covered in darkness it can be very difficult to see the light. 

I have challenged myself each week to memorize a new Bible verse. Trust me, not every week has been perfect and I haven’t memorized every single one but wrapping myself in God’s big T-Truth has given me an extra layer of armor against Satan’s attacks. This week’s verse is so incredibly fitting for today’s study:

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long” Psalm 25:5

If you’ve never challenged yourself to affirm yourself in TRUTH and LOVE, I encourage you to go pick up a pack of index cards, type them out, put them on post-it notes and set up a reminder on your phone to read these Truths over and over again. We must stand strong against the enemies lies ladies, because we are the army of God!

Boom...Humble!

I accepted a new job in August that came about by God's hand. There really is no other explanation for it. I didn't even apply for the job really. I went in for an interview on Thursday, I got the job offer on Monday and started on Wednesday. I had less than one week to decide on what I was going to do, and in a moment everything changed. I was completely miffed as to why they wanted to hire me; I felt under-qualified, I really had no experience, the job technically wasn't even in my specific field, and I had no background in the financial realm. Yet they wanted me and made me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So I left my previously-known life behind and started a new chapter.

For about 4 months everything was going well. I was extremely busy and had little down time but was expanding my networking base, learning things I didn't know the first thing about (like equity lines of credit), and becoming a wiz at Photoshop, inDesign and Illustrator. Yet the last month and a half have been hard.
Things outside of my control and heck, outside of my department, have made it less than exciting to come to work in the morning. I was getting more and more down about driving the 40-minute commute to work every day. I was secretly on pins and needles about what the day would hold. It wasn't the stress or the high-demand area I worked, it was the never knowing how people were going to feel that day; were they going to be pleasant or down right mean-spirited to everybody in the building? Maybe I'm stupidly optimistic, as one of my professors told me once, but I truly felt everybody in the office had a kind spirit and genuinely cared for everybody else. Maybe not so much! Ha. 

Since Christmas I've really been struggling with down-right dread of the office. What was once a positive and supportive workplace had become gray and tainted with angry words and accusations. The strangest part was that it was all happening around me! I was never once involved in any cross words or heated debates, but hearing your boss get cursed at on a daily basis can bring down your spirit. 

One afternoon at lunch I just called my mom in absolute despair. I couldn't keep coming into an office that had so much negativity and hatred, it was killing my spirit! After a long talk with her, I sat in my car and prayed that God would just give me guidance to where to go next, it was the only thing I could do at that point. 

I went back to my office, turned on Pandora, clicked on the "Hillsong" channel and just prayed that God would fill this place with His peace and serenity and give me the strength to persevere through it all. 

It wasn't until today that I remembered doing that a month and a half ago; I had three separate people tell me how I changed their attitude at work. One guy told me that I must see the good in everybody because I always had a smile on my face. Another guy said that I was quite possibly the most cheerful person he'd known. Then a woman in the office came up to me and just said that she did something this weekend because of me. All within one day! I put the dots together and realized that God hadn't changed the work environment necessarily, but He had changed my heart and let me be a light to the office. Isn't that the most fulfilling thing a Christian can do? I can't think of a better compliment than 'you reflect the light of Christ'...even if they can't put their finger on why I'm so happy or always smiling; the thing is they can sense I'm different! The amazing fact is that I don't have to talk about God 24/7, but that my life and my testimony can be a reflection of His grace, forgiveness, love and acceptance every day of the week. 

And God just said -boom...humble!-