Day 26 of 30: Call me Maybe?

Day 26 of 30: What kind of person attracts you?

People ask for your “type” but I don’t know if I have a type. There’s a physical attraction to a body type which is, obviously, important for a relationship but I think that what is really attractive is their qualities and characteristics that shine through. I mean come on, a guy can be hot, but if he’s a complete player and an absolute jerk- it’s such a turn off. Physical looks will change over time but a guys qualities, charm and personality are the things that will stay in the relationship.

For me, some of the most attractive qualities in a man:

Humorous: Laughter is contagious and there’s nothing more attractive than a man who can make me laugh and laugh at my (lame) jokes.

Genuine: I can tell when a guy is being sincere. I hate it when a guy is trying to be someone he’s not, or trying to be someone he thinks I want him to be. Be you. Be sincere. Be honest.

Relationship with God: Quite possibly the most attractive thing about a man is if he is in an active relationship with the Lord: seeking, praying, reading, worshiping Him with a reckless abandonment.

Spontaneous: I love spontaneous trips, random texts, silly dates. It’s great to have structure and established plans but it’s so sweet when a guy randomly wants to do something that you hadn’t thought about. I teeter between structure and crazy spontaneity, so having someone who compliments that is important in my life.

Adventurous: He has to be willing to take risks, try new things, go new places, and most importantly travel. I love to travel and it’s so attractive when he too wants to travel and explore the world…preferably together!

Family-oriented: I love my family and I want him to have a good relationship with his family as well. You don’t just marry the man, you marry the family- so it’s important  that he is willing to work on the relationships with his family and welcome the love of your family.

Ambitious: A man with ambition and drive is important because it shows the true sign of his character. It’s okay to be in a career you’re not in love with, but I need to see that there is drive and ambition to change things and take active steps to change it in the future.

Thoughtful: Little thoughtful things speak volumes. A note in a lunch. A encouraging text on a stressful day. A favorite drink made when you get home- it doesn’t need to be big, extravagant or expensive, I just want to see intentional, thoughtful acts because they speak louder than any sort of flashy jewelry or expensive dinner.

Day 25 of 30: Hot Pursuit

Day 25 of 30: Something you feel strongly about

When I get passionate about something, it's pretty obvious, I get fired up. I have a heart for people and an absolute tender spot in my heart for God's creatures. I hate seeing people left out or made picked on and it's one of the reasons I became a sorority mommy for two years during college- because no one was standing up for the girls who didn't wear Lilly Pulitzer or have monogramed everything…but I digress. 

If I had to choose one topic I was adamant about it would be how a woman is to be pursued by a man. Obviously besides treating a lady right, I believe it is so important for a man to pursue a woman’s heart. Biblically a woman is supposed to be pursued and a man is to pursue her heart. I love that saying “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in the Lord that a man has to go through Him to find her”. Courting may sound old-fashioned to some, but to me all it means is pursuing a woman’s heart and not her body. He should want to ask her questions, understand what she’s thinking and feeling, discover her deepest desires and dreams all while keeping the physical side separate.

Call me old fashioned but I still find it charming when a man comes straight up to me and asks me out on a date. I don’t want this “lets chill” or “hang out” thing; I want an intentional invitation to go somewhere one-on-one and learn more about one another (and I don’t think its too much to ask of a man- any grown man is completely capable of asking a woman out on a proper date).

I believe it’s important that a man pursues a woman and provides her with a solid foundation for their relationship. That begins with talking. Talking on the phone, through texts, in-person: all of these lines of communication allow a woman to open herself up to him on a deeper level than just a physical side. Women also have the responsibility to be pursued. Especially in the 21^st century when women are incredibly strong and powerful, its that much more important for a woman to slow down and let the man take the lead. It may not be in our culture anymore to let a man open the door, order for you, pull out your chair, and pray over the meal but it’s Biblically-based that women are to be pursued and sought-after.

Women, let a man court you and pursue you. Let him take the initiative to go out. Let him chase you, don’t just give in to any first guy who shows you attention. Let him go after your heart, not just your body. Let him be courteous and show chivalry and appreciate it when he does. Ladies you need to wear the Armor of the Lord and cloth yourself in dignity. You should allow a man to take a lead, let him pursue you and don’t chase him. Let yourself be open to God’s will and His plan for your life but don’t place yourself in a man’s path in hopes you will change his mind… it doesn’t work like that. Dance with God and He will let the right man cut in.

Hi, I'm a Runner.

Some say that at a certain point during a run, you break through the wall and enter a "runners high" where you are in this incredible zone of freedom; you feel nothing, you sense nothing, and the only noise you hear is the rhythmic beats of your feet pounding pavement. Your lungs suddenly stop struggling to keep a steady breath and you can feel the wild abandonment that coincides with being able to run like nothing will catch you.

I have never had that feeling.

I hate running.

Running is literally one of my least favorite forms of exercises to do and most of the time when I arrive at Crossfit and I see running on the menu, I have to fight this urge to turn right back around and flee to my car. Running is just not something I enjoy; I can't get into a runners high and all I can think about is when is the torture going to end.

So no. I'm not a runner; but I run. 

Over the last few years I've pursued the wrong guys and been burned in the process. Offended and hurt, I retreated to the only thing I knew- the safe haven of the Lord and His promise for my life. "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future'" Jeremiah 29:11.  

I realize my list of expectations and qualities in a man are high, but by no means do I think they are outrageous. I did realize however, that I expected a man to be this incredibly Godly man who would be a prayerful leader of a household, and a man who recklessly pursues the Lord and His will for His life; but was I worthy of a man like that? A few months ago I took a step back and looked at my "list" and reflected on myself and my own characteristics. Would I measure up to a guys "list"? It made me humbly recognize that my heart wasn't completely hidden in the Lord, but it was just hidden in general from friends, family and myself. That's when I realized I was doing this wrong. How can I expect a man to have all the checklists of the ideal Christian guy if I am not 100% hidden in the Lord myself? So what did I do? I ran.

I run from all relationships and the possibilities of relationships towards God's love and protection. I realized if I submitted my entire heart to the Lord, he would keep it safe until the right guy (or sucker...depending on how you look at it) could actually keep up with me. Then, and only then, would I know that this guy was worth the while and see where things lead. 

So yes, I'm a runner. I don't run out of fear or rejection but I run for joy and fulfillment in the only One who can bring peace.