Job 10: The Truth in the Darkness

When you start to question God’s goodness, what helps you redirect your thoughts to truth?

I get caught up in truth versus Truth. “truth” tells me that if I was 10 pounds skinnier I’d be happy. “truth” tells me that being bubbly and positive all the time will make me friends. “truth” tells me that I have to have those pair of shoes because it’ll fulfill me. “truth” tells me once I get married my life will finally begin. Well in case you need a reminder today ladies: those are L-I-E-S. it’s the world’s ‘truths’ but it’s not God’s Truth. God’s Truth says you are holy and blameless (Eph 1:4). Truth says you are loved with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). Truth says that you are beautiful and your beauty comes from within (1 Peter 3:3-4). Truth says you can do it and He will help you through it (Josh 1:9).

These are some of the positive affirmations I have to tell myself daily [I have an index card full of ‘lies’ and ‘truths’ and constantly have to re-read them]. I’m convinced more than ever that Satan wants to kill our spirit of joy, because if we don’t have joy and love then we are not able to fulfill God’s command: LOVE.

When reading Job 10, we get a glimpse at the absolute despair that Job feels in his heart. I mean talk about a low point, he even says he loathes his very life (Job 10:1) and that he wishes he was never born (Job 10:18). I don't know about you, but when I get down and frustrated and just exhausted beyond repair, my attitude just goes down the toilet. I burn my toast in the toaster and suddenly I'm down this thought path:

- I burned my toast
- I can't do anything right
- I am a horrible cook, I can't even make toast
- I'm going to be late to work now
- I'm probably going to get fired because I'm horribly late
- I won't have a job and then I'll be miserable and penniless and have no prospects
- I'll be completely unwanted by an employer and a man because I don't have my life together
-I'm never going to get married

Anyone relate to Iris in The Holiday ... besides me?!

Wow. I went from I burnt my toast to no one will ever want to marry me in about 5 seconds. Our minds can jump from one thing to the next in a matter of moments and our attitude can go right with it. I find that I can relate to Job in chapter 10 here; I too go down the rabbit hole of pity and despair and it can get ugly. However, this rabbit hole is just a whole bunch of lies. Satan wants us to keep digging ourselves in these pits of lies because we cover ourselves up with darkness; and if we're covered in darkness it can be very difficult to see the light. 

I have challenged myself each week to memorize a new Bible verse. Trust me, not every week has been perfect and I haven’t memorized every single one but wrapping myself in God’s big T-Truth has given me an extra layer of armor against Satan’s attacks. This week’s verse is so incredibly fitting for today’s study:

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long” Psalm 25:5

If you’ve never challenged yourself to affirm yourself in TRUTH and LOVE, I encourage you to go pick up a pack of index cards, type them out, put them on post-it notes and set up a reminder on your phone to read these Truths over and over again. We must stand strong against the enemies lies ladies, because we are the army of God!

Job 7: Dealing with Suffering

|| Job 7: 20-21 ||

If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
    you who see everything we do?
Why have you made me your target?
    Have I become a burden to you?
 Why do you not pardon my offenses
    and forgive my sins?
For I will soon lie down in the dust;
    you will search for me, but I will be no more.

Q: How do you respond to suffering when it enters your life? What stands out to you from Job 7?

To be honest, I don’t handle suffering well. I usually have two responses: anger or depression. I find that I become bitter and angry or else I become down and mope about. Not the most ‘Christian-like’ response eh, but it’s the truth. Sometimes as I’m walking through difficulty I get frustrated and annoyed at having to face yet another struggle, another issue, another adversary. I look around and others don’t seem to be struggling or suffering; their lives seem to be walking through fields of flowers and I’m rowing a boat in a storm. I’ll throw my hands up in anger and ask “why me God?!”.

Then on the flip side of that, I can get into the lows and sadness and sit in pitty-partyville. I feel so downcast and discouraged that I mope around a bit, disheartened that I’m left to face this struggle. It’s a very isolating feeling. I can get so in my head and wrap myself up in a cocoon of lies that is about as self-destructive as it is depressing.

For years I felt like I was suffering in this season called ‘singleness’. I felt abandoned on an island of solitude as my closest friends have sailed off on USS Marriage and I’m left looking for a ship, a boat or heck even a dingy!! Ha. Yet a message from Pastor Steven Furtick called “IT HAD TO HAPPEN” changed my entire perspective. As I’ve been standing longing on the beach looking off at the horizon, there is an entire island behind me that could use my attention. I’ve been so focused on being stuck on this island, but God didn’t abandon me here, he PLACED me here. He placed me in ‘singleness’ because there is a mission I need to accomplish. There is a task at hand, His purpose, that He wants me to fulfill. I can look at this season as suffering or I can look at this station as a mission. In the last few weeks I’ve decided to change the agony of my heart from suffering to the joy of learning and teaching moments of the mission.

My outlook has changed and hence my attitude has changed, but even more life-changing is the fact that my perspective has changed. My “suffering” is how God is using me in this station of life. I look at the struggles I face now as learning moments; I go in and ask Him “Alright God, what can I learn? Reveal to me Your purpose for this moment. Guide me through this moment because my strength won’t carry myself”. I know there is some heart-breaking and devastating suffering out there, but I hope this encourages someone that your suffering is not in vain. You are not stuck, you are stationed sister!!

Job 6: That Instagram Lie

Everyone goes through hard times- even the women we follow on IG who appear to have it all together & have the most picture-perfect life. But don't be fooled, because begins that perfectly backed quiche and smiling kids is a disastrous kitchen, screaming kids who didn't want to get dressed, cellulite legs, and doubt that is breath-taking. We're ALL human and we all have issues, struggles, depression, doubt, fears, trials, devastation and anger.

I hated the idea "Proverbs 31" woman for so long. Know why? Because I always felt like a failure in comparison. I never felt holy enough, pure enough, kind enough, patient enough. I lose my temper when someone cuts me off driving, I get hangry more than I should, and sometimes you'll hear a curse word slip through my lips (sorry, but it's true). I felt like the Proverbs 31 woman was one of those IG women I follow-- beautiful and idealistic but not true and realistic for me. But then God revealed to me -

|| you are enough ||

Simple but powerful. In my 16 month journey of healing I have discovered SO many truths that confirm God's truths in my life. He has wrapped me in a blanket of truth, the shield of truth actually, and every day that blanket becomes more of my flesh than just a decorative piece.

Being wrapped in God's Truth is a shield against the worlds truths (aka the IG life). If we can wrap ourselves in that Truth (big T truth), then even when our foundation crumbles, when IG threatens to make us doubt and feel discouraged, we can wrap it a little tighter around our shoulders and stand up in the assurance that God is on our side, He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6)

The Thankful Project: November 24th

The Thankful Project: November 24th: This

Today I'm thankful for this truth. I'm thankful that God is greater than it all, that the enemy can huff and puff all he wants, but the war has been won. God's greater than anything you've done, anything anyone's ever done to you, or anything you will do. No president, no king, no minister is great than God. But what is even better is that Jesus was hanging on that cross and thinking about you, and He would've died for just one person or ten million people. Don't ever think you're too far gone to feel love. It's the most wonderful and unconditional love you will ever experience, you just need to accept it.

The Bridge

"Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons, you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready" -NW 

You never ever need to convince someone to meet you on the bridge. Let them stand on their side and watch you walk straight off the other side. Maybe one day they'll run across the bridge to find you or maybe they won't, but no one deserves to stand on the bridge alone and try to convince someone to step out on the bridge.

You are already loved by someone so intensely that He died to know you. Talk about taking stepping out on the bridge when it matters most…

In Christ Alone

"In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song"

It's incredibly easy to get caught up in the world. The world tells us women that our worth is found in our relationship status, job title, GPA, pant size, our clothes or are outward beauty. As a sorority mentor for years and a Bible study leader I've witnessed many girls that struggle with self-worth, a subject I personally have struggled with and I know many others have too. 

In my morning devotional (Jesus Calling) it said: 

"My children make a pastime of judging one another and themselves. But I am the only capable Judge, and I have acquitted you through My own blood. Your acquittal came at the price of My unparalleled sacrifice. That is why I am highly offended when I hear My children judge one another or indulge in self-hatred. 

If you live close to Me and absorb My Word, the Holy Spirit will guide and correct you as needed. There is no condemnation for those who belong to Me."

Luke 6:37; 2 Timothy 4:8; Titus 3:4 & Romans 8:1

What a humbling reminder that when we are so hard on ourselves, judging and picking at every little thing, it literally makes His heart ache. Someone once explained it like this once: if you were an artist and put your whole heart into a masterpiece you were so proud of and then you put it out into the art world. Then people start picking it apart ruthlessly and tirelessly. Here you have made this perfect piece of artwork and people ridicule your heart and soul. God loves us just the way we are because He made us in His image, even though that is hard for us to comprehend sometimes. 

I am the worst culprit of this myself! I am highly self-critical, nit-picky, judgmental and hard on myself. It is a daily conscious effort to choose to be loving, accepting and not so critical on yourself, an effort that takes time to consciously choose. 

Once you understand that your worth is not tied up in your job, your boyfriend, your behavior, the friends you choose to hang out with, your number on the scale, or your clothes, you become free in Christ. Your worth is greater than gold, more precious than the finest jewels, and more lovely than you understand. Your worth is found in Christ.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

My name is...

I fall short on a daily basis; actually on an hourly basis... I take that back, every second of every day I fall short of the perfect Son of God. Exhausting isn't it? It's like a child learning to walk for the first time; they try and try and try and they just keep falling backwards. If we were born sinners, then there would not be one single thing we could do to change our damned fate. Ah, but there is something! It's not something you can buy and it's not an act you have to perform; it's called grace. 

Grace & Forgiveness: these two simple concepts are God's greatest gift to us. He offers us forgiveness and shows us grace. 

The enemy will use your sins against you on a daily basis! He will throw your past in your path when you're on the path God has planned for you. He'll splash your past on you like a cold bucket of water when you're resting in God's forgiveness. He will call out your past, your indiscretions, your shortcomings and will hold them out for you to feel again with a taunting smile and whisper those daggers of lies: "you're not good enough" "you'll never learn" "you don't deserve forgiveness" "it was your fault" "you're a failure" "God doesn't love you". But don't fall into this trap! Satan knows your name but calls you by your sin. He knows who you are, but will only look at your shortcomings.

God on the other hand, He knows every single one of our sins. He also knows every freckle, every hair, every tooth, every tear, every thought you've ever or will have and know what- he still calls you by your name. Grace is having a relationship with someone's heart, not their behaviors.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

God knows your sin but calls you by your name. He calls you wonderful. He calls you beautiful. He calls you His. He calls you beloved. He calls you blessed. He calls you perfect in imperfection. He calls you by your name: Forgiven Child. 

Pluvophile

Pluviophile: A lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

Isn't the rain such a peaceful and relaxing sound? There is nothing quite like sitting next to a window, closing your eyes, pressing your forehead against the glass and feeling the coolness that starts in your head and crawls down your spine. 

Some people hate the rain, but I love it. I find escape in the rhythmic pit-pat of the rain drops on my car. It's my excuse to get a cup of Earl Gray from Starbucks and take an extra-long lunch break to just sit in my car and read that book that's stashed in my glove box. I think one of reasons I love the rain is that it becomes therapeutic; cleansing, calming, reassuring, life-bringing. The smell, the taste, the feeling of it on your skin, it is natures way of cleansing the earth, restoring life, and creating new life; isn't it incredible?

The same goes for our spiritual beings- the cleansing of our soul. We are washed cleaned, able to start anew, by the blood of Christ. We are given a new life, we are restored in Him, and it creates a new found hope in our spirit. Every once in a while, we need a cleansing to remember who we are in Him and that there is a much greater purpose to the struggles we face on a daily basis. Just like a flower, we need the occasional rain storm to restore us, let our roots grow deeper, and allow us to continue to grow to our full potential. Don't be detoured by the rain, but embrace it and realize that through the rain and the storm, you will come out on the other side revitalized, renewed, and restored.

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7

More than Religion

I was sitting at Starbucks this week during my lunch break and while I was setting up my laptop, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation of the two men behind me. The two men were probably in their late-50s, dressed nicely with salt-and-pepper hair and definite strong Southern accents. There conversation immediately peaked my interest because it was clear that they were talking about God and church and religion. I was trying to untangle my 'tangle-free' headphones and they just kept talking about their church, which happened to be a particular baptist in town. One of the gentlemen said  "..that was a great moment for our neighbors, because they are from all sorts of different churches, but none of them are as good as ours" I was stunned. 

They went on talking for another 45-minutes about how their church was the best church for x,y,z reasons. I half listened to the rest of their conversation as they gossiped about the members of their congregation and it became obvious that these two men were somewhat "high up" in their particular church. It was a perfect example of why people are so turned off by Christianity and church; they see the legalistic rules they have to follow, they witness the gossipy members and hear the judgmental comments by their Christian neighbors, co-workers and friends. 

Being a Christian isn't about the church you attend or the denomination you qualify yourself, it's about your relationship with Jesus Christ. 

These two men had lost the true meaning of being a Christian. They had gotten caught up in the titles and and legalistic thinking of 'the church'. But that is not how God intended for it to be. God loves all and wants all to come to Him for healing, peace, worth, forgiveness and love. It truly does't matter if you're a baptist, lutheran, presbyterian, nondenominational or whatever 'church' you attend; He just wants you to know Him and His full heart and plans for your life. 

Boom...Humble!

I accepted a new job in August that came about by God's hand. There really is no other explanation for it. I didn't even apply for the job really. I went in for an interview on Thursday, I got the job offer on Monday and started on Wednesday. I had less than one week to decide on what I was going to do, and in a moment everything changed. I was completely miffed as to why they wanted to hire me; I felt under-qualified, I really had no experience, the job technically wasn't even in my specific field, and I had no background in the financial realm. Yet they wanted me and made me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So I left my previously-known life behind and started a new chapter.

For about 4 months everything was going well. I was extremely busy and had little down time but was expanding my networking base, learning things I didn't know the first thing about (like equity lines of credit), and becoming a wiz at Photoshop, inDesign and Illustrator. Yet the last month and a half have been hard.
Things outside of my control and heck, outside of my department, have made it less than exciting to come to work in the morning. I was getting more and more down about driving the 40-minute commute to work every day. I was secretly on pins and needles about what the day would hold. It wasn't the stress or the high-demand area I worked, it was the never knowing how people were going to feel that day; were they going to be pleasant or down right mean-spirited to everybody in the building? Maybe I'm stupidly optimistic, as one of my professors told me once, but I truly felt everybody in the office had a kind spirit and genuinely cared for everybody else. Maybe not so much! Ha. 

Since Christmas I've really been struggling with down-right dread of the office. What was once a positive and supportive workplace had become gray and tainted with angry words and accusations. The strangest part was that it was all happening around me! I was never once involved in any cross words or heated debates, but hearing your boss get cursed at on a daily basis can bring down your spirit. 

One afternoon at lunch I just called my mom in absolute despair. I couldn't keep coming into an office that had so much negativity and hatred, it was killing my spirit! After a long talk with her, I sat in my car and prayed that God would just give me guidance to where to go next, it was the only thing I could do at that point. 

I went back to my office, turned on Pandora, clicked on the "Hillsong" channel and just prayed that God would fill this place with His peace and serenity and give me the strength to persevere through it all. 

It wasn't until today that I remembered doing that a month and a half ago; I had three separate people tell me how I changed their attitude at work. One guy told me that I must see the good in everybody because I always had a smile on my face. Another guy said that I was quite possibly the most cheerful person he'd known. Then a woman in the office came up to me and just said that she did something this weekend because of me. All within one day! I put the dots together and realized that God hadn't changed the work environment necessarily, but He had changed my heart and let me be a light to the office. Isn't that the most fulfilling thing a Christian can do? I can't think of a better compliment than 'you reflect the light of Christ'...even if they can't put their finger on why I'm so happy or always smiling; the thing is they can sense I'm different! The amazing fact is that I don't have to talk about God 24/7, but that my life and my testimony can be a reflection of His grace, forgiveness, love and acceptance every day of the week. 

And God just said -boom...humble!-

The 24 Days of Blessings

December is one of my favorite months. Not because of Hallmark Channel playing non-stop Christmas movies or the piles of holiday sweets that end up at your desk at work or even the lights; I love this time of year because it renews my spirit with faith and hope. I see so much hurt, pain and struggles in the world and it makes me want to extend my arms and help every single cause. Children, single moms, underprivileged families, abandoned animals, children in 3rd world countries, the lonely neighbor down the street... there are so many worthy groups and this is the time of year where humanity pulls together to help those less fortunate. 

Christmas is the season to count the blessings you do have, because as is evident in our world, everybody is not as fortunate as the next. In the 24-days leading to Christmas, I realized that I had so many blessings in my life that I don't thank God for every day and this is the time of year to stop. reflect. and give thanks.

The 24 Days of Blessings 

24. Clean, running water

23. A closest chalk full of "I have nothing to wear" clothes

22. A real bed 

21. Too many shoes to keep track of

20. Never having said "I'm starving" and meant it

19. A job that I actually don't loath

18. A warm coat for those chilly North Carolina days

17. Ladybug, my reliable (although she's getting up there in years) car

16. Being able to physically & financially afford to travel 

15. The gift of sight & sound

14. A Christmas meal that will leave you begging for Spandex

13. Witness true-love

12. Never having a Christmas without a gift under the tree

11. The blessing of knowing how to Sign, a language that is seldom learned but I find the most rewarding

10. Attending University, a right denied to many women around the world

9. The ability to read & write- still foreign to so many

8. The knowledge that God's plan for me is bigger than what I could have ever imagined

7. The military who make it possible for me to go to work in pants, pray, express my beliefs, and not worry about being attacked because of it

6. Parents who would lay down their lives for mine

5. Brothers who will stand up for me, even when I wasn't the nicest big sis

4. A handful of best friends who don't mind silly snapchats & texts

3. The wonderful unconditional love of my dog Abby

2. A family who loves one another

1. The biggest blessing of all: Jesus's birth

Merry Christmas to All

Who You Are

These words are not my own. They are a transcript of the truth; the truth that is sometimes impossible to believe. This video was posted on Facebook tonight and I opened it. These words are not my own. These words are His words, spoken into broken hearts, tired minds, strained and desperate souls. These are His words.

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are funny. You are kind. You are unique. You are worthy of love and affection. You are never too much, and you are always enough. You are precious. You are a diamond, a rose, a pearl, the most stunning of all God's creation. You are worth more than you could ever imagine. More than numbers on a scale or the hair products you use or the shoes that you wear. More than how many girls wish they were you or the number of guys who wish they had you. More than the price tags on your clothes or the percentage at the top of your math test or even the number of followers you have on Twitter. Your worth surpasses all earthly things because in the eyes of the Lord God you are loved, and you are worth dying for. 

Regardless of who you think you are, whether you model in a magazine or you model pottery with grandma, whether you're on the hot list or the not list, whether you're a head cheerleader or a high school drop out. Whether you're miss popular or you've never had anyone you can call a friend. Whether you love yourself and love your life or you can't stand to look in the mirror and you feel as if everything in your life is falling apart. Whether you're such a winner or you feel like the worlds biggest failure...regardless of who you think you are, the reality is YOU DESERVE someone who would give up their life for you, because you are powerful, strong, capable. Read about the women in the Bible: Esther, Ruth, Martha, Mary; these women changed the world FOREVER. And inside of you, each and every one of you is a woman with that same power, that same strength, and that same world changing capability. Your responsibility is to find that woman and to set that woman FREE. This is WHO YOU ARE. Any voices in your mind that try to tell you otherwise is from the enemy. So the next time you hear these voices, you say "No, not me Satan. I am a daughter of the living God: cherished, loved, adored, above all things, by the Creator of all things, for the glory of Him, who is greater than all things. I AM AWESOME.

God has such incredible ways to speak to us. Please check out the Anima Series on Youtube.

DISCLAIMER: This is a transcript of his video, not my own words but spoken into my heart.

Valentines Day Cupcake Style

Happy Valentines Day from the Traveling Cupcake!

Don't forget that this day is not just about showing your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife how much they mean to you- there are other people that deserve to know they're loved as well. Remember the friends who have been by your side through all the "broken hearts" and tears over dating issues. Remember the friends that sat on the couch with you on Friday night watching "Bridesday Friday" on TLC while eating Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. Most importantly, remember your family who has helped raised you, listened to you for years, and always loved you through it all.

Not only have my parents always been supportive of any choice I've made, and I truly couldn't show them how much I appreciate them, but they've always shown love, kindness, support and given advice throughout 20+ years of life.

However, there is one special woman who I called today and it reminds me of God's love for us- and that is my grandmother. Grandma is a teeny-tiny 4'9 Scandinavian blonde haired woman who has spent almost her entire life in the kitchen. My grandfather and the love of her life sadly passed away going on five years ago, and its on Sundays and days like this that I feel she misses him most. I spent a lovely hour and a half catching up with Grandma and I love hearing about all the "new recipes" she is trying and her weekly outings with her friend Judith. Ever since my grandfather passed away I have made it a point to call her every Sunday afternoon after Church and I love our little time of fellowship. 

Don't forget about the special people in your lives today; besides your significant others there are friends and family members right around you that deserve to know how much they're loved. The past generation is sadly a dying breed, and there is so much we can learn from them: such a more simple, quiet, and natural lifestyle. So tonight as I curl up with a glass of wine and a book with a stereotypical Nicholas Sparks movie in the background, I am thankful for the people who show me love in my life.