Waiting for apple picking season: When waiting for God's timing seems like eternity

The best apples aren't necessarily the easiest to get to. Have you ever gone apple picking? Have you ever noticed how the brightest and juiciest looking apples usually require some thought to access? The apples on the ground are the easiest to pick up, but take a closer look... some are rotten and have worms in them. Some are mushy. A lot of them are picked up and thrown back down because you realize they're rotten...they're not right! They're the easy ones but not necessarily the best ones.

I recently went apple picking with a friend and I was walking down the aisles and aisles of apple trees, trying to pick the very best ones, I had a sweet moment with God. I've definitely faced my share of discouragement when it comes to dating; to say it's been a difficult road would be an understatement. Sure I've been on dates with guys, but none of these men were men that I could see myself with long term. None of them were men of God that I knew would honor Him and honor me in a way that I have dreamed of my entire life. 

As I was searching for the best apples in the bunch, I realized that like these apples, God has placed me on the top of the tree and it's going to take someone who is going to take the effort to climb to pick. Trust me sister, I understand it can feel mighty lonely up at the top of the tree when you see so many of your friends going off and getting married and starting families, but don't give in to the easy attention.

The easy attention is just that, easy. It's easy to entertain a guy who says all the romantic stuff. It's easy to go out on dates with the hot guy who's just looking for a fling. But you weren't called for the easy path, your path is so much more than that. 

God has his best saved for up top. He has placed you in a place that takes effort to get to. It takes effort, persistence and perseverance to reach the top of the tree...but these apples are untouched by the ground and the bugs that occupy it. These apples are ready to be picked, longing to be picked but are patiently waiting because they know that it'll be worth it one day. So don't sacrifice yourself and your self worth for the small bread crumbs a man might feed you to fall off the tree. Wait for the man who is going to put his heart into pursuing you honorably, selflessly and in a Godly manner. 

Job 7: Dealing with Suffering

|| Job 7: 20-21 ||

If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
    you who see everything we do?
Why have you made me your target?
    Have I become a burden to you?
 Why do you not pardon my offenses
    and forgive my sins?
For I will soon lie down in the dust;
    you will search for me, but I will be no more.

Q: How do you respond to suffering when it enters your life? What stands out to you from Job 7?

To be honest, I don’t handle suffering well. I usually have two responses: anger or depression. I find that I become bitter and angry or else I become down and mope about. Not the most ‘Christian-like’ response eh, but it’s the truth. Sometimes as I’m walking through difficulty I get frustrated and annoyed at having to face yet another struggle, another issue, another adversary. I look around and others don’t seem to be struggling or suffering; their lives seem to be walking through fields of flowers and I’m rowing a boat in a storm. I’ll throw my hands up in anger and ask “why me God?!”.

Then on the flip side of that, I can get into the lows and sadness and sit in pitty-partyville. I feel so downcast and discouraged that I mope around a bit, disheartened that I’m left to face this struggle. It’s a very isolating feeling. I can get so in my head and wrap myself up in a cocoon of lies that is about as self-destructive as it is depressing.

For years I felt like I was suffering in this season called ‘singleness’. I felt abandoned on an island of solitude as my closest friends have sailed off on USS Marriage and I’m left looking for a ship, a boat or heck even a dingy!! Ha. Yet a message from Pastor Steven Furtick called “IT HAD TO HAPPEN” changed my entire perspective. As I’ve been standing longing on the beach looking off at the horizon, there is an entire island behind me that could use my attention. I’ve been so focused on being stuck on this island, but God didn’t abandon me here, he PLACED me here. He placed me in ‘singleness’ because there is a mission I need to accomplish. There is a task at hand, His purpose, that He wants me to fulfill. I can look at this season as suffering or I can look at this station as a mission. In the last few weeks I’ve decided to change the agony of my heart from suffering to the joy of learning and teaching moments of the mission.

My outlook has changed and hence my attitude has changed, but even more life-changing is the fact that my perspective has changed. My “suffering” is how God is using me in this station of life. I look at the struggles I face now as learning moments; I go in and ask Him “Alright God, what can I learn? Reveal to me Your purpose for this moment. Guide me through this moment because my strength won’t carry myself”. I know there is some heart-breaking and devastating suffering out there, but I hope this encourages someone that your suffering is not in vain. You are not stuck, you are stationed sister!!

The Thankful Project: November 24th

The Thankful Project: November 24th: This

Today I'm thankful for this truth. I'm thankful that God is greater than it all, that the enemy can huff and puff all he wants, but the war has been won. God's greater than anything you've done, anything anyone's ever done to you, or anything you will do. No president, no king, no minister is great than God. But what is even better is that Jesus was hanging on that cross and thinking about you, and He would've died for just one person or ten million people. Don't ever think you're too far gone to feel love. It's the most wonderful and unconditional love you will ever experience, you just need to accept it.

Ordinary to Extraordinary

It has been a while since I've actually finished a post and actually published it- a sad thing considering I used to love writing and blogging. In the past four months my work life went from busy to chaos. I would leave work, hit the gym, come home and be so emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted I couldn't even find the motivation to open my laptop or look at a screen for one second longer. As the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, my life turned into a draining monotony of busyness.

Recently a few things have around me that make me realize how incredibly unpredictable life can be; things can change so drastically that it made me stop and ask myself it what I was doing was worth it? No.

A woman at work had an honest conversation with me, about how short life can be and how we need to forget about the fear of the future and the unknown and find joy in the moments we have with those we love. It's pivotal that we choose joy, find joy and pursue the dreams we dream about only to ourselves.

When I get busy, one of the first things to suffer is my quiet time reading the Word. Ironically, the Word is one of the most important things we can stay in to keep grounded,  rooted in His promises and cling onto the hope that He promises us. Deciding to take 5 to 10 minutes of your day to spend with Him and reading the Word can really set the tone for the rest of it. Life gets messy, busy, chaotic, and plain stressful but by rooting ourselves in those few blissful moments of quiet, peace and joy it can really turn your day around and make an ordinary day into an extraordinary day. So I choose to find the time, to make the commitment and to make completely ordinary days into fantastically extraordinary days.

"A busy life makes prayer harder, but prayer makes a busy life easier"

Stop Looking

 I've been searching for answers and, in full disclosure, I'm a girl and read too much into 'signs'. When I was deciding on where to attend college, I felt like every billboard or bumper sticker was a sign from God that to where I was supposed to go! I'm not sure if it's a female thing or just a me thing, but I am notorious for desperately searching for an answer and sometimes making up my own answer. 

Questions about future career- TODAY show has a segment about relocating to Guam…maybe God wants me to move to Guam and open an orphanage? 

Questions about a future move- see 10 moving trucks in one day…God wants me to pack up and go. 

Questions about pursuing a dream- find 15 inspirational Pinterest quotes, God is trying to speak to me.

It always seems when you stop looking, that's when you find what you're looking for.

I've been looking for answers to so many things, and lately I feel like I've been overlooking to find God's answer. Maybe His answer is more of a quiet whisper rather than an in-your-face lightning bolt…exactly what this type-A girl doesn't want :) 

Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart" 

Maybe it's time to stop desperately searching for my own answers and go back to listening for His guidance. 

Usually, when you stop looking, you find exactly what you need….His answers. 

Boom...Humble!

I accepted a new job in August that came about by God's hand. There really is no other explanation for it. I didn't even apply for the job really. I went in for an interview on Thursday, I got the job offer on Monday and started on Wednesday. I had less than one week to decide on what I was going to do, and in a moment everything changed. I was completely miffed as to why they wanted to hire me; I felt under-qualified, I really had no experience, the job technically wasn't even in my specific field, and I had no background in the financial realm. Yet they wanted me and made me an offer I just couldn't refuse. So I left my previously-known life behind and started a new chapter.

For about 4 months everything was going well. I was extremely busy and had little down time but was expanding my networking base, learning things I didn't know the first thing about (like equity lines of credit), and becoming a wiz at Photoshop, inDesign and Illustrator. Yet the last month and a half have been hard.
Things outside of my control and heck, outside of my department, have made it less than exciting to come to work in the morning. I was getting more and more down about driving the 40-minute commute to work every day. I was secretly on pins and needles about what the day would hold. It wasn't the stress or the high-demand area I worked, it was the never knowing how people were going to feel that day; were they going to be pleasant or down right mean-spirited to everybody in the building? Maybe I'm stupidly optimistic, as one of my professors told me once, but I truly felt everybody in the office had a kind spirit and genuinely cared for everybody else. Maybe not so much! Ha. 

Since Christmas I've really been struggling with down-right dread of the office. What was once a positive and supportive workplace had become gray and tainted with angry words and accusations. The strangest part was that it was all happening around me! I was never once involved in any cross words or heated debates, but hearing your boss get cursed at on a daily basis can bring down your spirit. 

One afternoon at lunch I just called my mom in absolute despair. I couldn't keep coming into an office that had so much negativity and hatred, it was killing my spirit! After a long talk with her, I sat in my car and prayed that God would just give me guidance to where to go next, it was the only thing I could do at that point. 

I went back to my office, turned on Pandora, clicked on the "Hillsong" channel and just prayed that God would fill this place with His peace and serenity and give me the strength to persevere through it all. 

It wasn't until today that I remembered doing that a month and a half ago; I had three separate people tell me how I changed their attitude at work. One guy told me that I must see the good in everybody because I always had a smile on my face. Another guy said that I was quite possibly the most cheerful person he'd known. Then a woman in the office came up to me and just said that she did something this weekend because of me. All within one day! I put the dots together and realized that God hadn't changed the work environment necessarily, but He had changed my heart and let me be a light to the office. Isn't that the most fulfilling thing a Christian can do? I can't think of a better compliment than 'you reflect the light of Christ'...even if they can't put their finger on why I'm so happy or always smiling; the thing is they can sense I'm different! The amazing fact is that I don't have to talk about God 24/7, but that my life and my testimony can be a reflection of His grace, forgiveness, love and acceptance every day of the week. 

And God just said -boom...humble!-

1, 2, 3…JUMP!

Sometimes it feels like its never the right time. It never feels like the right time to quit your job. It never feels like the right time to take a trip to Europe. It never feels like the right time to start dating again. It never feels like the right time to move. Society makes us feel like it's never the right time to do what we dream of doing. 

Well guess what, there will never be the 'right time' to do it.

I had a friend disappoint me recently because they bailed on me because of timing. Well know what, life is always going to get into the way. Work is always going to be busy. The house is never going to have all those projects finished. Your family is always going to be demanding you in five directions. You're always going to want to have more money in your account. Life does not press pause for our dreams, we have to make them happen. So make time for them. There may be no better time than present to do what you've always dreamed of doing. 

Psalm 56:3 says "When I am afraid, I will trust in you". Sure it's scary to take a leap of faith and just go for it. Move across country. Take a trip. Change jobs. Date someone new. However there comes a point in time when you have to rely on God and your gut instinct, take a deep breath, close your eyes… and jump.

The 24 Days of Blessings

December is one of my favorite months. Not because of Hallmark Channel playing non-stop Christmas movies or the piles of holiday sweets that end up at your desk at work or even the lights; I love this time of year because it renews my spirit with faith and hope. I see so much hurt, pain and struggles in the world and it makes me want to extend my arms and help every single cause. Children, single moms, underprivileged families, abandoned animals, children in 3rd world countries, the lonely neighbor down the street... there are so many worthy groups and this is the time of year where humanity pulls together to help those less fortunate. 

Christmas is the season to count the blessings you do have, because as is evident in our world, everybody is not as fortunate as the next. In the 24-days leading to Christmas, I realized that I had so many blessings in my life that I don't thank God for every day and this is the time of year to stop. reflect. and give thanks.

The 24 Days of Blessings 

24. Clean, running water

23. A closest chalk full of "I have nothing to wear" clothes

22. A real bed 

21. Too many shoes to keep track of

20. Never having said "I'm starving" and meant it

19. A job that I actually don't loath

18. A warm coat for those chilly North Carolina days

17. Ladybug, my reliable (although she's getting up there in years) car

16. Being able to physically & financially afford to travel 

15. The gift of sight & sound

14. A Christmas meal that will leave you begging for Spandex

13. Witness true-love

12. Never having a Christmas without a gift under the tree

11. The blessing of knowing how to Sign, a language that is seldom learned but I find the most rewarding

10. Attending University, a right denied to many women around the world

9. The ability to read & write- still foreign to so many

8. The knowledge that God's plan for me is bigger than what I could have ever imagined

7. The military who make it possible for me to go to work in pants, pray, express my beliefs, and not worry about being attacked because of it

6. Parents who would lay down their lives for mine

5. Brothers who will stand up for me, even when I wasn't the nicest big sis

4. A handful of best friends who don't mind silly snapchats & texts

3. The wonderful unconditional love of my dog Abby

2. A family who loves one another

1. The biggest blessing of all: Jesus's birth

Merry Christmas to All

A Thankful Heart

15 Things I'm Thankful For 

15. Hallmark Movie Channel

There's nothing like wasting an entire Saturday glued on the couch watching happy (yes, predictable) Hallmark Movies. Oh and don't even get me started about Christmas Hallmark movies; haven't met one yet I didn't like!

14. Gluten-Free Flour

If it wasn't for GF Flour I may cry. From baking every weekend to not even being able to enjoy a cookie without feeling sick, GF Flour has been a Godsend!

13. AC & Heat

I used to want to live in the 1800's, but then I realized I wouldn't have AC or Heat and just think about how horrific that would be. No AC in North Carolina summers or Heat in Minnesota winters; yup I would've died.

12. Nike Workout Shorts

Come on, you know you live in yours on the weekend, after work, working out, after working out...

11. Jello 

Youbetcha. A nice jello salad is the best way to start a holiday season! It's happy and squishy and colorful; who doesn't love Jello?!

10. Starbucks Holiday Drinks 

Gingerbread latte. Eggnog latte. Tall nonfat white peppermint mocha with light whip. Bring it on. Got my Holiday Star Dash going on and I'm going to win.

9. Chick-fil-A

It's a staple in our household at least once a week during baseball season. The smell of waffle fries is enough to make you drool. Oh, and am I the only one who craves them on a Sunday?!

8. Books  

My bookshelves are overflowing with books and yet I always seem to buy more. I can't resist the smell of a fresh new book. Oh, and Yes, I do judge a book by its cover.

#Bookwormproblems

7. Joy of Writing

Writing is a release and such a joy. I'm so thankful that I get to sneak away and write whenever I can. I can express myself, share ideas, and it's amazing that other people like what I say and are inspired by it. So amazing.

6. The Ocean 

The smell of salt in the air. The foam of the waves. The presence of the Lord is so obvious that it's sometimes overwhelming. I'm so incredibly thankful I got the opportunity to live by the water for several years. 

5. The Gift of Travel

The thought that a year ago I was living in England is so humbling. If it weren't for the pushing of my family, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Now, one year later, I've been traveling for pleasure and for work, and have three trips in the works. How incredibly wonderful!

4. My Job 

This year, one of the biggest things I've been thankful for is God providing me with a wonderful first job that is not something I would've dreamed I would be doing. I've been able to travel, fly, and work with some wonderful people. Considering how many people haven't found that first job or are out of work, I'm thankful that I was blessed with this gift.

3.  Faithful Friends

This past year it's really been highlighted who are friends for a lifetime and friends just for a season. I'm thankful that friends have stuck by my side and encouraged me to grow personally and spiritually. Thanks for being a listening ear and a cheerful smile. 

2. Unconditional Love of Family 

To my family to always think better of me than myself; who push me to my limits because they know I can handle it. Who always try to thing in perspective and always make me laugh. We only have one another in this world, and I'm so glad we've grown our little family into a tight family unit. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful family.

1. God's Plan

His plan for my life is bigger than my own and for that I am thankful, because if it was up to me to plan my life, it'd be a complete mess and I would never reach my full potential. You experience life when you're pushed out of your comfort zone, and God knows that I am greater than this. It's humbling to know that and I am thankful for his unconditional love even when I majorly screw up. It amazes me that even when I venture off the path and fall down a hill, he can bring me past a river and up a mountain to get back on the path, and most of the time it's greater than you expected.

So for these things, I am thankful on this holiday weekend and I encourage everyone to count your blessings this holiday season because there is so much to be grateful for- from the little things to the big things, we are more blessed than w realize.