Job 7: Dealing with Suffering

|| Job 7: 20-21 ||

If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
    you who see everything we do?
Why have you made me your target?
    Have I become a burden to you?
 Why do you not pardon my offenses
    and forgive my sins?
For I will soon lie down in the dust;
    you will search for me, but I will be no more.

Q: How do you respond to suffering when it enters your life? What stands out to you from Job 7?

To be honest, I don’t handle suffering well. I usually have two responses: anger or depression. I find that I become bitter and angry or else I become down and mope about. Not the most ‘Christian-like’ response eh, but it’s the truth. Sometimes as I’m walking through difficulty I get frustrated and annoyed at having to face yet another struggle, another issue, another adversary. I look around and others don’t seem to be struggling or suffering; their lives seem to be walking through fields of flowers and I’m rowing a boat in a storm. I’ll throw my hands up in anger and ask “why me God?!”.

Then on the flip side of that, I can get into the lows and sadness and sit in pitty-partyville. I feel so downcast and discouraged that I mope around a bit, disheartened that I’m left to face this struggle. It’s a very isolating feeling. I can get so in my head and wrap myself up in a cocoon of lies that is about as self-destructive as it is depressing.

For years I felt like I was suffering in this season called ‘singleness’. I felt abandoned on an island of solitude as my closest friends have sailed off on USS Marriage and I’m left looking for a ship, a boat or heck even a dingy!! Ha. Yet a message from Pastor Steven Furtick called “IT HAD TO HAPPEN” changed my entire perspective. As I’ve been standing longing on the beach looking off at the horizon, there is an entire island behind me that could use my attention. I’ve been so focused on being stuck on this island, but God didn’t abandon me here, he PLACED me here. He placed me in ‘singleness’ because there is a mission I need to accomplish. There is a task at hand, His purpose, that He wants me to fulfill. I can look at this season as suffering or I can look at this station as a mission. In the last few weeks I’ve decided to change the agony of my heart from suffering to the joy of learning and teaching moments of the mission.

My outlook has changed and hence my attitude has changed, but even more life-changing is the fact that my perspective has changed. My “suffering” is how God is using me in this station of life. I look at the struggles I face now as learning moments; I go in and ask Him “Alright God, what can I learn? Reveal to me Your purpose for this moment. Guide me through this moment because my strength won’t carry myself”. I know there is some heart-breaking and devastating suffering out there, but I hope this encourages someone that your suffering is not in vain. You are not stuck, you are stationed sister!!

More than Religion

I was sitting at Starbucks this week during my lunch break and while I was setting up my laptop, I couldn't help but overhear the conversation of the two men behind me. The two men were probably in their late-50s, dressed nicely with salt-and-pepper hair and definite strong Southern accents. There conversation immediately peaked my interest because it was clear that they were talking about God and church and religion. I was trying to untangle my 'tangle-free' headphones and they just kept talking about their church, which happened to be a particular baptist in town. One of the gentlemen said  "..that was a great moment for our neighbors, because they are from all sorts of different churches, but none of them are as good as ours" I was stunned. 

They went on talking for another 45-minutes about how their church was the best church for x,y,z reasons. I half listened to the rest of their conversation as they gossiped about the members of their congregation and it became obvious that these two men were somewhat "high up" in their particular church. It was a perfect example of why people are so turned off by Christianity and church; they see the legalistic rules they have to follow, they witness the gossipy members and hear the judgmental comments by their Christian neighbors, co-workers and friends. 

Being a Christian isn't about the church you attend or the denomination you qualify yourself, it's about your relationship with Jesus Christ. 

These two men had lost the true meaning of being a Christian. They had gotten caught up in the titles and and legalistic thinking of 'the church'. But that is not how God intended for it to be. God loves all and wants all to come to Him for healing, peace, worth, forgiveness and love. It truly does't matter if you're a baptist, lutheran, presbyterian, nondenominational or whatever 'church' you attend; He just wants you to know Him and His full heart and plans for your life. 

A New Season

"God prunes us when He is about to take us into a new season of growth & expansion" 

It's important to have dreams and aspirations, and I realize that more than ever today. I did everything 'right' in school, joined the clubs, worked the jobs, participated in the internships, graduated with honors in both degrees, and landed a fantastic job right out of college; every college students dream. Yet, I can't help but feel there's more out there than just a great paying job. 

What happened to spontaneity and adventure? What happened to adventures and stupid decisions? Ah. Adulthood. My life has become a routine of wake up, get to work before the sun rises, leave work, workout and get home after sunset. Shower, eat, repeat.

Don't misunderstand my words as complaints, I love my job and am ever so grateful that I landed a job like this out of college. However, as one of my professors in college pointed out, life is a lot more than having an amazing paycheck; it's about being happy. He made me wonder, am I happy? Or more importantly, when was I last happy?

Quietly and consistently I have felt the Lord leading me in a new direction. Sometimes it's scary to take a leap of faith and trust the small voice inside your heart; but when you finally do take that leap, there is an amazing sense of peace that overcomes you and when you look back that big 'scary' jump looks more like a hop. 

God is slowly transforming me for a new season in life, which is extremely scary and exciting at the same time. My future is a complete question mark but I know that my future is in good hands. There is more to life than our job title and the amount of money we make. We need to realize what makes us happy and strive to make that a priority in life and our job.

So here is to a new change in my life, a new path that God is slowly shaping me for, a new sense of freedom and excitement and a completely new season.

"God prunes us when He is about to take us into a new season of growth & expansion" 

It's a New Year; What's Your Word?

The time has come, to raise our glass, and say ciao to another year over and bonjour to a new one dawning. It is always amusing how much nostalgia and longing is wrapped up into one simple day, New Years Eve; we sit and reminisce with friends and family about all the things we accomplished in the past year: people met, trips taken, goals obtained, promises kept...and all the things we didn't quite get to: losing that last 10lbs, paying off our debt, becoming a yoga master, balancing our checkbooks. Yet, every year we sit on New Years Eve and make a pact to ourselves and our friends that next year will be different. I don't know about you, but I find myself making the same exact resolutions every year; and obviously the goals are never quite met...hence why I'm sitting her on the cusp of another year still contemplating the same exact goals.

So instead of making another resolution to accomplish something tangible: losing weight, making more money, becoming more dedicated to the gym, I've decided to partake in something that the lead pastor at Port City Community Church (Mike Ashcraft) implemented last year: MY ONE WORD. The premise behind this philosophy is to pick one word or phrase that you are going to work on and focus on for that entire year, a word you will pray about, focus on, read devotionals about. I actually did this last year. Want to know my word: happiness. Such a simple philosophy, yet I had never been truly happy in life. I dealt with a lot of issues, insecurities, doubts, fears, loneliness. It was hard, and it took God's hand in my life to really show me how to be happy. Tonight, I look back on 2012 and realize I found happiness. So tonight, I close the chapter on 2012 and look fondly on what 2013 will bring and have to offer; I haven't decided on my one word yet but I am interested to see what God lays on my heart.

Ciao 2012 and Bonjour 2013. I hope all you out there have a wonderful and beautiful 1st day of 2013.  

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him" Psalm 37:4,7