Job 10: The Truth in the Darkness

When you start to question God’s goodness, what helps you redirect your thoughts to truth?

I get caught up in truth versus Truth. “truth” tells me that if I was 10 pounds skinnier I’d be happy. “truth” tells me that being bubbly and positive all the time will make me friends. “truth” tells me that I have to have those pair of shoes because it’ll fulfill me. “truth” tells me once I get married my life will finally begin. Well in case you need a reminder today ladies: those are L-I-E-S. it’s the world’s ‘truths’ but it’s not God’s Truth. God’s Truth says you are holy and blameless (Eph 1:4). Truth says you are loved with an everlasting love (Jer 31:3). Truth says that you are beautiful and your beauty comes from within (1 Peter 3:3-4). Truth says you can do it and He will help you through it (Josh 1:9).

These are some of the positive affirmations I have to tell myself daily [I have an index card full of ‘lies’ and ‘truths’ and constantly have to re-read them]. I’m convinced more than ever that Satan wants to kill our spirit of joy, because if we don’t have joy and love then we are not able to fulfill God’s command: LOVE.

When reading Job 10, we get a glimpse at the absolute despair that Job feels in his heart. I mean talk about a low point, he even says he loathes his very life (Job 10:1) and that he wishes he was never born (Job 10:18). I don't know about you, but when I get down and frustrated and just exhausted beyond repair, my attitude just goes down the toilet. I burn my toast in the toaster and suddenly I'm down this thought path:

- I burned my toast
- I can't do anything right
- I am a horrible cook, I can't even make toast
- I'm going to be late to work now
- I'm probably going to get fired because I'm horribly late
- I won't have a job and then I'll be miserable and penniless and have no prospects
- I'll be completely unwanted by an employer and a man because I don't have my life together
-I'm never going to get married

Anyone relate to Iris in The Holiday ... besides me?!

Wow. I went from I burnt my toast to no one will ever want to marry me in about 5 seconds. Our minds can jump from one thing to the next in a matter of moments and our attitude can go right with it. I find that I can relate to Job in chapter 10 here; I too go down the rabbit hole of pity and despair and it can get ugly. However, this rabbit hole is just a whole bunch of lies. Satan wants us to keep digging ourselves in these pits of lies because we cover ourselves up with darkness; and if we're covered in darkness it can be very difficult to see the light. 

I have challenged myself each week to memorize a new Bible verse. Trust me, not every week has been perfect and I haven’t memorized every single one but wrapping myself in God’s big T-Truth has given me an extra layer of armor against Satan’s attacks. This week’s verse is so incredibly fitting for today’s study:

“Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long” Psalm 25:5

If you’ve never challenged yourself to affirm yourself in TRUTH and LOVE, I encourage you to go pick up a pack of index cards, type them out, put them on post-it notes and set up a reminder on your phone to read these Truths over and over again. We must stand strong against the enemies lies ladies, because we are the army of God!

Job 9: Suffering but not Broken

Job’s anguish and desperateness stirs a deep sense of pain in my soul. To feel so close to someone, to deeply love them, and they appear to turn their back on you. I think any woman who has experienced a heartbreak, break-up, or divorce can identity with the utter torment that must’ve been running through his soul like a virus. As women who are intricately created to be emotional beings, it’s no wonder so many of us can sympathize with Job. I find that when I’m in seasons of despair and anguish I will play that emotional head game that Job could’ve gotten trapped in: What did I do to deserve this? What offense did I commit against God? How can I ever survive? I am obviously unforgivable.

However my understanding of God’s character has transformed through our relationship. Like any relationship there are many stages: excitement, getting to know one another, contentment, ups and downs along the way, re-learning one another and so forth. I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke like a child. I though like a child. I understood like a child. Now I am a man. I do not act like a child anymore” (NLV). My relationship has changed with God from being a ‘newborn’ Christian and therefore my understanding of who God is and our relationship. As I grow and my mind has expanded, I have been able to understand God in a whole new way…it’s almost like exploring a new city- every little thing is exciting and scary and wonderful!

When I was a child, I saw God as this ominous big fluffy cloud. Untouchable but present and evident. Through the ups and downs of my life I’ve seen him as a commanding authoritarian (do not do this, do not do that), a protector from potentially devastating situations, a supernatural healer, and even a loving dad-figure. Maybe you see Him in one of these ways right now. The thing is though, he isn’t one of these ‘hats’; he just is.

He is present (even when you don’t see him). He is protecting (even when it doesn’t feel like it). He is directing (even when you don’t know where to go). He is loving (when you feel unlovable). He is the healer (when doctors tell you nothing is wrong with you). He is a dad (to all sons and daughters). He is YOURS. He is yours, and you are His. Together you get to evolve and change your relationship. Who said there was a right or wrong way to see God? There isn’t! There is only one rule in this relationship,  and that is to L-O-V-E. Job had to go seek a mediator to understand God’s love for us, but we don’t even need to go anywhere- Jesus (THE Mediator) is in our hearts.

Liked and Lonely

How many likes did you get on your last Instagram post? What about on your new Facebook profile picture? Do you remember how many people commented on your last post? We're a very "liked" society. If we're not careful, we can get caught up in basing our worth and value in the likes  by others (and often thee others are strangers or people we barely know). How is it then, that we can be "liked" by so many  people yet still feel lonely? How come we fill our Facebook event calendar with "interested" stars but when it comes to actually going out you can't find anyone to go with you? Or what about when you're having a rough day and need someone to talk to, can you call the last person who liked your post? Probably not because we're liked and lonely.

I admit it: I have placed a lot of my self-worth and value in whether or not people like me. Do the popular girls in high school invite me to their parties? Does that University want to accept me into their school? Will the super cute guy down the hall notice me? Will the company I interview with hire me? I have always been wrapped up in one way or another if people "like" me. I wanted to be liked so badly and even when I was affirmed and 'liked' by others, I still felt horribly alone.

I had some great friends in high school but still struggled with self esteem and worth. In college I was involved in clubs and sports and even a sorority but still struggled with confidence and depression. I thought that once I graduated and started my 'real' life it would be better, I would be happy and have wonderful friends and wouldn't face the throngs of loneliness. Well let me tell you, as a woman in her late 20s, I still feel liked and lonely. This isn't  something I'm going through alone, and do you want to know why...because I see women all around  me struggling with this epidemic in silence too.

The epidemic

Look around you; sit in an airport or Starbucks without your cellphone or laptop in your hand. I dare you for thirty minutes to not be plugged into something and just observe. Our technology is our defense mechanism, our walls. If we appear busy, no one will notice that we're ______ [fill in the blank with the thing you're dealing with, the emotions you're feeling, the issue you're avoiding]. I bet I know how you'll feel as well: UNCOMFORTABLE. Being vulnerable is so uncomfortable and awkward and that is exactly why after about ten minutes of sitting unplugged you'll start itching for the safety net of scrolling through Facebook or Instagram. It's uncomfortable to be without your safety shield; the one that can deflect a situation and allows you to shut yourself off to the world. It's uncomfortable--- but so is being lonely ladies!

I am going to have an honest moment here: I am miserably lonely. If you look at my IG profile you wouldn't guess it but that's because it's a P-R-O-F-I-L-E! It's my highlight reel not reality. (Another newsflash, probably 99.9% of my pictures are edited #ILoveThatValenciaFilter). My career allows me the incredible opportunity to travel the country for a living and it's an amazing adventure but it can be quite the lonely affair. I fly by myself, I travel by myself, I eat by myself, I adventure by myself. There are times where I love the solitude and don't cross me because I'm one tough-butt-independent-woman-solo-traveler but still it gets lonely out there. 

I long for real friendships and relationships but it's been really hard to cultivate these meaningful relationships. Anyone else out there feel the same? I have hundreds of virtual "friends" but months ago when I was having an incredibly difficult day, I scrolled through my contact list and literally felt like I couldn't call one single friend in that list. How can that be?! I was devastated. In a moment where I needed someone the most, I had no one to call on. I was completely friendless in a "friend"-filled world. I realized that there was this epidemic around me and I was involved in it as well. I've become so numb to the virtual world of friendship that I realized I wasn't sure how to cultivate real friendships around me.

The cure

I don't know a cure, so if you're looking for a 3-step prescription plan you unfortunately won't find one here. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I started volunteering at a charity, a got involved in an association at work, I joined a new church, I joined a Bible study, I've put my phone away at the coffee shop and yet I'm still sitting here liked and lonely. I know that these enriching friendships are out there because I see other women in them. I know that God places people in our lives for specific seasons and reasons. I also know that Satan's main goal is to keep us isolated and lonely. If Satan can keep us separated and feeling alone, we won't be able to flourish and live out God's plan for our lives. 

I wonder though, if there was a way for us women to come together to connect and really form relationships how the world would change? This isn't just a disease that affects the Millennial generation or those women who are using social media- it knows no age or socioeconomic or race limitation [and  on that same thought, I'm sure men go through these same things but I'm just speaking from a female perspective]. Women in their 70s who have lost their husband and suddenly feeling very alone in the world are feeling the same thing as those of us in our late 20s, 40s and 50s. What if these women banded together and took a stand against Satan's attempts to isolate and devour us in depression? What if we created a Sisterhood of women who decide enough is enough, we are done being LIKED AND LONELY and are ready to be LOVED AND LIVING? I think it'd be a life changer for all of us living in loneliness in a liked-age.

The Thankful Project: November 23rd

The Thankful Project: November 23rd: Hot Tea

Growing up in Minnesota you have no choice but to have thick skin for the winter. It could start snowing as early as October and could last into April, but you just accepted that and moved on with life. However when I moved down to North Carolina, I quickly lost my Northern blood and became a pansy for the cold. I use my heat seat all the time and I have a heat pack I bring to work all year long. North Carolina has mild falls and springs for the most part with an occasional snap of cold. Well today is one of those cold snap days. It was below freezing when I ventured into the office today and boy was I thankful for a hot cup of tea in the office this morning.

When I lived in England I drank tea all the time. My flatmate Liam would actually wake up early in the morning to get the kettle going so we all could have hot tea before we headed out for the day (boy do I miss that luxury). When I returned back stateside, the “sit and enjoy a spot of tea” mentality just wasn’t the same; maybe it’s American consumerism, the American mentality of never enough time in the day, or the obsession of Starbucks (guilty) but I rarely drink tea these days. After today though, I’m reminded why I love hot tea and the nostalgic and warm feelings you get by drinking a wonderful cup of Earl Gray.

Cheers to a wonderful week!

The Thankful Project: November 13th

The Thankful Project: November 13th: My Parents

Today I want to love a little on the people who raised me, put up with me, and have supported me in every venture I’ve sought- my parents.

I count my blessings to have two parents who always love and support me. They have always been there for my riding competitions, piano recitals, dance performances, school field trips, and of course moving me from city to city because I just can’t make up my mind on where to live or what to do in life! I realize everyone doesn’t have two parents who are still together, let alone involved in their life, so I find myself blessed that I have parents who love one another, sacrifice daily for their children, and manage to bring joy and love into our family.

Mom: When my mom was pregnant, my parents decided to wait to find out the gender of the baby. My mom thought she was having a boy, so she was shocked (and thrilled) that I was a girl! Her exact words were “I can’t believe I got my girl!”. My mom and I have always been close and because I am the only girl, and the oldest, she’s become my best friend. For most of my life I was fortunate enough to have her as a stay-at-home mom so she was always involved in my life: classroom parties, field trips, dance practice, piano recitals, horseback riding and all the other random activities I wanted to try as a kid. My mom’s always been my #1 cheerleader and has believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. She’s scarified having her own career and pursuing her dreams to raise four kids. She’s also been the one to hold down the household while my dad is away. Mom’s always been there for us, supported us emotionally and spiritually…as well as taken care of us while we’ve been sick (there’s something about being sick that just makes you want your mom).

Dad: Being the only daughter I of course fall into the “daddy’s little girl” category. My dad has paid a sacrifice nearly every day since I was about nine-years-old. His job takes him on the road every week, he flies to his office on Sunday night and returns Thursday night. He’s had that schedule for a huge chunk of my life, basically only being home on the weekends. However sometimes he goes overseas and then it’s weeks at a time where he’s gone. (So as wrong as it probably may be, I have a hard time feeling sorry for friends who act like the world is ending when they have to leave their husband for 1-2 nights for a trip or girls weekend. It’s also why distance doesn’t scare me, I’ve seen it work with my own eyes)
 Although he hasn’t always physically been at home, he’s always been involved and connected in our lives. When I was younger, I’d fax him math homework and he’d help me work through those horrid mathematical equations. When I started to drive he was always a phone call away for a car issue and 9 times out of 10 he’d either walk me through the problem or have AAA on speed dial if need be. Thanks to modern technologies like Skype, text, FaceTime and Facebook, that didn’t exist 20 years ago, my dad gets to be more connected and involved in our lives.

It’s a rare thing, especially now, for people to stay together forever. I look at my grandparents and I look at my parents and am so thankful that they all have been examples of committed, God-centered marriages. I’m thankful that my parents have decided to bring the family up in a Christian home and instill in us values and characteristics that are Biblically-based. I’m thankful for their love and support for one another, but I’m also thankful that they’ve been real. They’ve shown me that marriage isn’t perfect and it won’t fix your problems; they’ve had their moments and their struggles (like when dad is driving and mom is giving directions) but they have always shown me the importance of compromise, saying sorry, unconditional love and faith.

I love you mom & dad!

The Thankful Project: November 12th

The Thankful Project: November 12th: A Pet

Whoever said "It's only a dog" has obviously never loved a dog

“After years of having a dog, you know him. You know the meaning of his snuffs and grunts and barks. Every twitch of the ears is a question or statement, every wag of the tail is an exclamation”

When you get an animal, it becomes more than just a pet, it becomes a part of the family. Fourteen years ago we added one more baby into our family, and she happened to have four paws and a tail. Now we consider her family, we don’t discriminate against the number of paws she has or that her nose is wet; we just love her. Abby was so small she could fit in our two hands. She was more like a big cotton ball then a puppy, heck her tail hadn’t even curled yet. Although my parents would say she definitely had her trying moments (like when she chewed the bottom of the blinds in the kitchen, or when she whined all night long, or when she ate a whole Subway teriyaki chicken sandwich off the counter)…she has become the center of our family.

I seriously doubt there is a dog that is more loved, more spoiled and more pampered than Abby. She has three dog beds on the first floor of our home and not to mention the plethora of couches, chairs, sofas, ottomans and beds elsewhere in the house she can choose from. Our family Christmas card always includes a little love from the baby and in case any of our family questioned our undying love for her, we throw her a birthday party every January (to in which, she gets birthday cards FROM our family…yeah we’re crazy)

I hate to see Abby get older (she’ll be fourteen come January) and it just breaks my heart to think of a day when she won’t be here, but we’ve been blessed with her for this long and are praying for several more healthy years for our baby. I’m so thankful for our little fluffy muffin and her sweet nature. She is affectionate and loving, always there to cuddle and lick away your tears. She is playful and funny when you need a laugh. She tends to wounds and knows when you’re hurting and offers her own fluff as a comfort. She’s the absolute best friend (and sister) a girl could ever want. 

The Thankful Project: November 7th

The Thankful Project: November 7th: A job

When you're little, people ask you "What do you want to be when you grow up?". The answers vary from princess to teacher to veterinarian to a movie start, and a sprinkling of everything in between. Heck, you ask the same question a few weeks apart and a child will probably tell you different dreams. The thing is our dreams change. We realize different gifts and talents we have and we realize things we don't enjoy. It's amazing to me how life works out and where the journey takes you, sometimes even to very unexpected places. Today I'm thankful for the career path the Lord has sent me down. 

I've been blessed with a job that lets me do two of my favorite things: be creative + travel. I received a Bachelors of Arts from UNCW in Communication Studies, a concentration in Public Relations and a minor in Political Science. I dabbled in politics and event planning and landed on wedding planning post-graduation. I love wedding planning- being a part of someones incredibly happy day is such a blessing. I love the details, the planning, the organization, the creativity but most of all I loved the 20+ hour day of work to put together a magical moment for the bride and groom. 

Unfortunately reality set in, bills had to be paid, and living in a resort town just wasn't cutting it anymore. So I sadly moved inland and to make a long-story short (too late), I ended up landing this job. By day I'm the Marketing Coordinator for a huge international organization, by night I'm the Traveling Cupcake :) 

This job has blessed me in so many ways. I've been able to travel all over the US and Canada (and fingers crossed more international travel soon). I've learned from some incredible mentors. I have wonderful coworkers and a kick-butt boss who definitely has the mentality that we 'work to live' not 'live to work'. They allow me to take my wanderlust-self and travel to Europe. I get to create, develop and implement creative plans in all sorts of mediums and then travel to see them come to life: not too bad for a 20-something-year-old. 

How did I get this job? It was a complete God thing. I was hired in the middle of a hiring freeze: how is that possible? God. I was the first person to be hired in over a year: how is that possible? God. I am definitely a young professional and didn't necessarily have the pin-point focus they were looking for: how is that possible: God. I'd applied with this company a few times prior and heard nothing back, but this time God had a purpose and plan for my life, so I trusted Him and here I am. There's a time and a season for everything in life, and I'm absorbing and loving this season He's placed me in and wait expectantly on Him to direct my next steps; for if I rely on Him, I know it will be wonderful.

The Thankful Project: November 6th

The Thankful Project: November 6th: A Failure

Failure. It's a tough word to swallow. Yikes. Failure has such a negative connotation. By definition it is "the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and being viewed as the opposite of success". OUCH. I don't think anyone wants to encounter failure, to be called a failure, to feel like a failure, but sometimes God requires us to encounter a setback in life.

"A minor setback is an exquisite set up for a major come back, remember that."

At 16-years-old I started working at a Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Shop. Within a year or so I was promoted to a Shift Leader and was responsible for managing the people under my shift...100% of which were older than me! It took a little getting used to for my former coworkers to look at me in a leadership role but eventually I earned their respect. I also had to prove to my Manager that I was capable of this position. Well probably a year or so into that new position I worked a closing shift with one other guy. Once a week we had to 'defrost' the freezer which means we had to take all the ice cream out of the cases and with a hose and spades scrape down the whole freezer. Then we had to dry it off completely and reload the freezer with all the ice cream. It was such an exhausting job and it took over an hour after closing to get it finished. 

Well the two of us did both of the cases, finished up cleaning and left. The next morning I opened the shop and I came in like normal, about a half hour before the shop opened and turned on all the lights and started to get everything set up for the day. I went over to the freezers and flipped on the lights and that's when I noticed it: there wasn't any ice cream. In place of where the ice cream was, was puddles of melted ice cream all over the case. We had forgotten to turn the freezers BACK on before we left. All night long the ice cream had defrosted and melted, soaking through their boxes and leaving behind a soupy ice cream mess. I immediately felt sick. Even worse, I had to call my Manager and explain to her what happened. 

It was so embarrassing and worst, it was hundreds of dollars literally down the drain. You better bet that from then on, I triple checked that the freezers were turned back on after a defrost night. It was the first epic failure I had at a job and it definitely left an impression. I learned that even when life seems boring, tasks get tedious, and you're rushing to finish, it pays to take a moment and slow down. It taught me the importance of double checking work and to make sure things get done correct the first time.

That story translates to our spiritual walk as well. I know sometimes I hurry to get done with something when God is calling me to slow down. I go 100 miles an hour trying to cram as much stuff as I can in one day and sometimes I miss things or I double book myself. Even when we do face failures or hardship in our lives God says to pray and never give up. Don't let your struggles and failures get the best of you. Take the trials and hardships and find the positive in them (sometimes it's harder than others). God is loving and full of grace, he can take that mess or struggle and turn it into a lesson just don't give up.

"Always pray and NEVER GIVE UP" Luke 18:1

The Thankful Project: November 5th

The Thankful Project: November 5th: A talent you have

Today I'm thankful for the gift of writing. I distinctively remember when I learned to live writing, I was in Ms. Doorheim's 5th grade class and she really encouraged me to continue writing; now granted I was just a kid and she was probably just doing her job but it made an impression! Ever since, I have always found joy in writing. 

Recently I was reading about spiritual gifts. Growing up in church I'd always heard about the 'typical' spiritual gifts like the gift of prophecy and the gift of speaking in tongues and I never quite knew what gift the Lord had instilled in me. This author however talked about the gift of writing and I was intrigued. Here is what it said

The gift of writing: the special gift whereby the Spirit enables certain Christians to translate Bible truths into a written form that can edify, instruct and strengthen the community of believers. This is a gift of creative ability that is called into use in the service of the Lord to forward his kingdom.
Although this gift is not specifically named in New Testament gift lists, there is little dispute that God still gives special creative abilities for use in his work today as he did in Old Testament times. David’s great poetic ability was a skill God used to enhance temple worship, and his writings became timeless through the Psalms, moving literally hundreds of generations of believers. 

One of the reasons I started blogging was to share, inspire and encourage... a desire that has come from the Lord. I'm thankful that He has given me a platform to share His word and be an encouragement to others by sharing my journey of being a Christian woman with a case of wanderlust in the 21st world!

The Thankful Project: November 4th

Thankful Project: November 4th: An experience

"For there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to rebuild,
a time to weep and a time to laugh
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

This passage always soothes my soul and reassures me that 'this' is just a season. When we're experiencing pain, sadness, pain or upheaval I am reminded that God promises peace and hope (Jeremiah 29:11) and that this too shall pass (Ecclesiastes 3). Sometimes you don't know you're in a season until you look back. Every experience, every person we've encountered was orchestrated by God. I believe that God doesn't do coincidence. Our experiences shape who we become, God uses them to build us up and mold us into the men and women of His Kingdom.

I think one of the experiences I'm most thankful for is my time overseas. God had a plan for me and He had to send me thousands of miles away from home for it to come to fruition. My time in England changed who I was. I was shy my whole life. I was quiet and reserved. England changed that for me. God had to draw me out of the familiar and into the unfamiliar and I had to 'get comfortable with being uncomfortable'. Know what, it worked! I'm not saying I'm this loud and outgoing life of the party but I gained a new confidence while in England that has greatly affected my life. There's something about living in a foreign country and being completely on your own that changes a person. I learned to adapt to new situations, I managed to figure out how to navigate the UK rail and bus system effortlessly, I figured out how to cook on an oven that wasn't much larger than an American microwave, I learned how to fix a water heater, I managed to make new friends, finish school and travel the country without getting utterly lost (except for that one time). Ha. I gained a new confidence, I danced, I stayed out too late, I wore high heels that I look at now and probably would've snapped my ankles. I ate greasy pub food, I learned to love hard cider, I learned to speak another language...I learned about myself and what this blondie was made of!

God orchestrated my move to England, He set things in motion that could only be through Him. He sent angels along the way to protect me and guide me, and even though I didn't realize it then, looking back I see His protective arms around me that whole trip. It has been years since I returned to the States but I am so thankful for the experiences and the life lessons God taught me on that journey... I would've trade it in for all the tea in the world.

The Thankful Project: November 3rd

The Thankful Project: November 3rd: A Place

Today's thankful project is to think of a place you're thankful for. My mind immediately starts running over all the places I've been lucky enough to visit in my life. I could talk about all sorts of travel adventures both near and abroad but I think the place I am most thankful for is home. 

It's no secret that I love to travel and I'm blessed to have a job that sends me all over on a semi-regular basis. Then when I'm not traveling for work I typically go on European vacations for fun…so I've racked up quite a few frequent flyer miles to say the least. As much as I love traveling to amazing places, I have to say that I'm most thankful that I have a place to come home. There's something comforting knowing that no matter how far I travel or how long I'm gone, I can come home to my own little space and regroup. 

You can see some of the most beautiful places in the world, but you only have one home- and that is where the people you love and your heart lie. 

The Thankful Project: November 2nd

I'm The Thankful Project: November 2nd: A role you've played

How would you describe yourself and the roles you play? Just off the top of my head I'd have to say: a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a sister, a friend, a colleague, a sister in Christ, a counselor, a leader, an ambassador and a mentor. I've held many roles in my life. In college I was in a sorority and held many leadership positions including the "sorority mom" role for several years. After returning from overseas I became a study abroad ambassador. I've had a job since I was sixteen and held different roles such as a leader and trainer. However the hats I wear on a daily basis, without fail are: daughter of the King, sister in Christ, a daughter, and a sister. 

I'm the oldest of four. There's me, Tyler (20) and Jack (16) + Abby (14). With the exception of our fluffy sister Abby, I am the only girl in the family. I'd love to say that my brothers and I have been best friends our whole lives and we never fought…but unfortunately that isn't true. We had our growing pains. They'd pick on me, I'd pick on them. We wrestled and fought. We drove our each other nuts sometimes but more often we probably drove our parents nuts!  However through all the growing pain and squabbles, we always knew that we each had each others back. I remember vividly threatening/beating up (okay 'beat up' may be a stretch) a kid at daycare who was taunting Tyler- no one messed with my kid brothers except me! 

I think the changing moment in our relationship was when I went to college and for the first time we were all separate. It was the first time we had to make an effort to have a relationship, talk and stay connected. I can definitely say that my brothers and I have a new-found wonderful relationship and get to bond over new experiences. My brothers have become such wonderful young men, respectful, loving, and compassionate and I am so proud to be their sister. I love you guys! 

The Thankful Project: November 1st

I love November for many reasons: the colorful trees, the cool crisp mornings, the starry nights, and the idea that we stop and take a month to reflect on the things we are most thankful for. Life gets busy and we all fail to be thankful for the little things in life; so lets take this month to take a moment and reflect on the all the blessings we have in our lives.

The Thankful Project: November 1st: Friendship

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

Friendship is a funny thing, right? God puts a human in your path, you have some sort of connection, you decide 'hey you're pretty cool, I want to get to know you more' and then you start building a relationship. Then within a short amount of time you're opening up about your life to this person. God doesn't do coincidences, he's intentional and purposeful; So even though it may seem crazy to us, He really has orchestrated our friendships and put people in our lives for a reason.

Provers 27:17 is a common verse that we learn in Sunday school but it is still incredibly relevant in our lives today. They say that you become like the people you surround yourself, so it's important that you surround yourself with people who support you, uplift you and spur you closer to the Lord. I'm incredibly blessed by the people God has strategically placed in my life. From the time I was three-years-old, God has been orchestrating a network of believers to love me and support me. I could spend hours writing about each one of my friends: from the longest friendships that last oceans of distances (Heather) to the incredible women in my Life Group and dozens of others in between! However today I got to spend time with these two sweet friends and I just felt so refreshed and encouraged by their love and laughter. 

Kierre & Marika.

The thing is, friendship isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Today was not only a gray day outside, but my heart was burdened and I was a little glum (which is  so not Katlin). After church we went out for lunch and they allowed me to verbally dump what was going on in my life at that moment. Know what their response was: life-giving, Godly advice that just made me so encouraged. It may have just been lunch for them, but to me it was God refilling my cup and replenishing my soul. Their advice was coming from a place of Scripture and Godly-wisdom, something that I greatly appreciate. It's easy to hear what you want to hear, but it takes a true friend to tell you what you need to hear. God puts people in your life for a reason, and today I'm so thankful for wonderful friends like these who love me, laugh with me, and are willing to share this incredible crazy journey of life with me.

Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity".

Day 30 of 30: Reflect & Forsee

Day 30 of 30: What are your goals for the next year?

1.       Hopefully in the next few months I’ll be able to confirm the dates & book my trip to Paris in May

2.        Pay off the rest of my car

3.       Survive my first year at my new job (I’ve officially survived my 1^st week on the job with no catastrophes!)

4.       Continue to deepen my relationship with Christ

5.       Smile more. Stress less.

6.       Take another step towards an international move

7.       Visit home and my extended family at least once

8.       Travel even more than 2014: I’ve visited ½ of the US, so I need to start working my way through the 2^nd half

9.       Deadlift 2x my bodyweight, beast out some strict pull ups and learn to do a 1-handed handstand

10.   Learn a new language (or become better at the ones I know)

11.   Try sushi

12.   Take on a new hobby (SUP anyone?)

13.   Start my side business (in the works currently)

14.   Serve on a mission trip, internationally or on the home-front

15.   Pour into the lives of others with the love of Christ

The past 30 days have fun exhausting but really fun blogging on a regular basis again. Thank you guys for the sweet comments and love you’ve spoken to me over the past month; what a fun trip. God has really blessed me with a love to write and share my thoughts with others, and it constantly amazes me that my seemingly blank words can speak to you in a deep way. Always remember you are a child of the most high God. You are blessed, you are chosen, you are adopted, you are accepted, you are redeemed and you are forgiven. Your identity is in Him. {{Galatians 2:19-21}

Day 29 of 30: Crossfit Chick

Day 29 of 30: Something that is a part of your routine that you really enjoy.

Daily tasks can become monotonous and boring; day in and day out doing the same exact thing. There is some comfort in knowing what to expect, but if you’re anything like me, after so much of the same thing, I start to go a little batty. One of the things that I love about my routine however is going to workout. I find working out therapeutic, a way to clear my mind and get out aggression or frustration. As I’ve moved over the years I’ve bounced from gym to gym doing the whole Rush fitness thing, Gold’s Gym, zumba, cycling, pilates, yoga, MMA, boxing- you name it and I’ve probably tried it. It wasn’t until a little over a year ago that I found my niche: Crossfit. 

What is Crossfit? Check it out!!! 

One of the reasons I love Crossfit is that although it has become a part of my daily routine, I never have to worry about being bored. Every day is something different, and with the exception of benchmark WODs, I rarely repeat the same exact workout twice. It’s tough. It’s challenging. It makes you want to puke or faint or die, but that’s what is awesome about it: the Crossfit program and coaches push you that one step further that you wouldn't push yourself riding it solo at Gold’s. It’s not necessarily about lifting heavy weight or running the fastest (although those are perks of the program), it’s really about testing your personal boundaries and seeing how far your body can go when you take your brain out of the equation. So yes, working out and hitting the box is part of my daily routine but it’s one of the things I look forward to most about the day, whether it’s at 5:00am or 6:30pm, it becomes a highlight of my day.

Day 28 of 30: Pet Peeves

Day 28 of 30: What are four pet peeves you have? 

1. Chomping on gum: It is evident now that not everyone was taught to chew with their mouth closed as a child. A 6-year-old is one thing, they don't know better; but a grown 36-year-old woman should have the common sense to close her mouth with the big wad of double-bubble. It's gross. 

2. People who continually use vulgar language: It's not attractive. The English language has so many elaborate and colorful words to use to express you absolute detest of someones outfit, how angry you feel, or how dumb someone is. Come on people, open a thesaurus. 

3. The helicopter coworker: The coworker that rolls their chair up behind mine and scares the ever-living-daylights out of me thanks to the white noise. It scares me every single time when someone pops their head into my cube and I'm so not prepared- give a girl some warning!

4. Using speaker phone for no obvious reason: You know you've seen it, the guy walking in the mall going on and on about something via speakerphone. My theory: unless you're in the car, trying to conference call people in, or you broke your thumb and can't hold your phone- don't use speakerphone in public :) 

Day 27 of 30: In the End

Day 27 of 30: If tomorrow was your last day on earth, what would you do with your time?

James 4:4 "How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog- it's here a little while, then its gone". We are not guaranteed an extra day on the Earth. How do we know that today isn't our last day on this planet- what would you do, and how would you react?

I'm not sure if anyone is ever truly ready to say goodbye to the ones they love; it feels like there is never enough time to get all we want accomplished. I believe knowing that today would be my last day would change my perspective on whether or not I was able to finish all the tasks on my check list- the meaningless checklist that we feel like we must complete to have a 'successful' day. 

I wouldn't be scared to be completely transparent and tell the people I love that I truly and deeply love them. I would hope that they would already know how I felt about them, but I would just take an extra moment to articulate my feelings and express how much they have changed my life. 

Shocking I know, but I love to write, so I think I would sit down and write a letter to my family and just…write: write about my memories, write about the fun trips we shared, write about the hard moments that brought growth through pain, write about my unconditional love and thankfulness for them in my life.

I would take take that risk that I'd been holding back on: I'd tell that guy I love him. I'd cut and color my hair. I'd go bungee jumping. I wouldn't let the fear of the future hold me back. I would have a reckless abandonment that only God can give you and finally have peace about my decisions. I would want to stay up all night gazing at the stars and marvel at God's wonder and splendor.

Mostly, however, I would spend every waking moment with my family and friends and soak up their every-being and cherish the final moments I was allowed with them. Because in the end, it's the people and the memories we have that make our life truly worthwhile. 

Day 26 of 30: Call me Maybe?

Day 26 of 30: What kind of person attracts you?

People ask for your “type” but I don’t know if I have a type. There’s a physical attraction to a body type which is, obviously, important for a relationship but I think that what is really attractive is their qualities and characteristics that shine through. I mean come on, a guy can be hot, but if he’s a complete player and an absolute jerk- it’s such a turn off. Physical looks will change over time but a guys qualities, charm and personality are the things that will stay in the relationship.

For me, some of the most attractive qualities in a man:

Humorous: Laughter is contagious and there’s nothing more attractive than a man who can make me laugh and laugh at my (lame) jokes.

Genuine: I can tell when a guy is being sincere. I hate it when a guy is trying to be someone he’s not, or trying to be someone he thinks I want him to be. Be you. Be sincere. Be honest.

Relationship with God: Quite possibly the most attractive thing about a man is if he is in an active relationship with the Lord: seeking, praying, reading, worshiping Him with a reckless abandonment.

Spontaneous: I love spontaneous trips, random texts, silly dates. It’s great to have structure and established plans but it’s so sweet when a guy randomly wants to do something that you hadn’t thought about. I teeter between structure and crazy spontaneity, so having someone who compliments that is important in my life.

Adventurous: He has to be willing to take risks, try new things, go new places, and most importantly travel. I love to travel and it’s so attractive when he too wants to travel and explore the world…preferably together!

Family-oriented: I love my family and I want him to have a good relationship with his family as well. You don’t just marry the man, you marry the family- so it’s important  that he is willing to work on the relationships with his family and welcome the love of your family.

Ambitious: A man with ambition and drive is important because it shows the true sign of his character. It’s okay to be in a career you’re not in love with, but I need to see that there is drive and ambition to change things and take active steps to change it in the future.

Thoughtful: Little thoughtful things speak volumes. A note in a lunch. A encouraging text on a stressful day. A favorite drink made when you get home- it doesn’t need to be big, extravagant or expensive, I just want to see intentional, thoughtful acts because they speak louder than any sort of flashy jewelry or expensive dinner.

Day 25 of 30: Hot Pursuit

Day 25 of 30: Something you feel strongly about

When I get passionate about something, it's pretty obvious, I get fired up. I have a heart for people and an absolute tender spot in my heart for God's creatures. I hate seeing people left out or made picked on and it's one of the reasons I became a sorority mommy for two years during college- because no one was standing up for the girls who didn't wear Lilly Pulitzer or have monogramed everything…but I digress. 

If I had to choose one topic I was adamant about it would be how a woman is to be pursued by a man. Obviously besides treating a lady right, I believe it is so important for a man to pursue a woman’s heart. Biblically a woman is supposed to be pursued and a man is to pursue her heart. I love that saying “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in the Lord that a man has to go through Him to find her”. Courting may sound old-fashioned to some, but to me all it means is pursuing a woman’s heart and not her body. He should want to ask her questions, understand what she’s thinking and feeling, discover her deepest desires and dreams all while keeping the physical side separate.

Call me old fashioned but I still find it charming when a man comes straight up to me and asks me out on a date. I don’t want this “lets chill” or “hang out” thing; I want an intentional invitation to go somewhere one-on-one and learn more about one another (and I don’t think its too much to ask of a man- any grown man is completely capable of asking a woman out on a proper date).

I believe it’s important that a man pursues a woman and provides her with a solid foundation for their relationship. That begins with talking. Talking on the phone, through texts, in-person: all of these lines of communication allow a woman to open herself up to him on a deeper level than just a physical side. Women also have the responsibility to be pursued. Especially in the 21^st century when women are incredibly strong and powerful, its that much more important for a woman to slow down and let the man take the lead. It may not be in our culture anymore to let a man open the door, order for you, pull out your chair, and pray over the meal but it’s Biblically-based that women are to be pursued and sought-after.

Women, let a man court you and pursue you. Let him take the initiative to go out. Let him chase you, don’t just give in to any first guy who shows you attention. Let him go after your heart, not just your body. Let him be courteous and show chivalry and appreciate it when he does. Ladies you need to wear the Armor of the Lord and cloth yourself in dignity. You should allow a man to take a lead, let him pursue you and don’t chase him. Let yourself be open to God’s will and His plan for your life but don’t place yourself in a man’s path in hopes you will change his mind… it doesn’t work like that. Dance with God and He will let the right man cut in.