The Thankful Project: November 1st

I love November for many reasons: the colorful trees, the cool crisp mornings, the starry nights, and the idea that we stop and take a month to reflect on the things we are most thankful for. Life gets busy and we all fail to be thankful for the little things in life; so lets take this month to take a moment and reflect on the all the blessings we have in our lives.

The Thankful Project: November 1st: Friendship

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

Friendship is a funny thing, right? God puts a human in your path, you have some sort of connection, you decide 'hey you're pretty cool, I want to get to know you more' and then you start building a relationship. Then within a short amount of time you're opening up about your life to this person. God doesn't do coincidences, he's intentional and purposeful; So even though it may seem crazy to us, He really has orchestrated our friendships and put people in our lives for a reason.

Provers 27:17 is a common verse that we learn in Sunday school but it is still incredibly relevant in our lives today. They say that you become like the people you surround yourself, so it's important that you surround yourself with people who support you, uplift you and spur you closer to the Lord. I'm incredibly blessed by the people God has strategically placed in my life. From the time I was three-years-old, God has been orchestrating a network of believers to love me and support me. I could spend hours writing about each one of my friends: from the longest friendships that last oceans of distances (Heather) to the incredible women in my Life Group and dozens of others in between! However today I got to spend time with these two sweet friends and I just felt so refreshed and encouraged by their love and laughter. 

Kierre & Marika.

The thing is, friendship isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Today was not only a gray day outside, but my heart was burdened and I was a little glum (which is  so not Katlin). After church we went out for lunch and they allowed me to verbally dump what was going on in my life at that moment. Know what their response was: life-giving, Godly advice that just made me so encouraged. It may have just been lunch for them, but to me it was God refilling my cup and replenishing my soul. Their advice was coming from a place of Scripture and Godly-wisdom, something that I greatly appreciate. It's easy to hear what you want to hear, but it takes a true friend to tell you what you need to hear. God puts people in your life for a reason, and today I'm so thankful for wonderful friends like these who love me, laugh with me, and are willing to share this incredible crazy journey of life with me.

Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity".

Toxic Friendships

As a society, we condemn abusive relationships and bullying but I think we've missed the mark on one type of abuse- and that is the toxic "frenemy" complexity that young women have created today. Friends, sisters, roommates, sorority sisters, small group members; to the outside people would guess 'friends' but in reality the fierce world of jealousy, confrontation, and passive aggressive arguments turns them into silent enemies. After going on four years in a sorority, I have seen this hidden world butt its' ugly head in several relationships in the sorority but most recently, my own relationships. There is something extremely hurtful about a fallout with a friend, but then when this ugly 'frenemy' dynamic rises, it makes it that more painful.

Friendship, according to the Bible, is a good and necessary relationship that bring humanity closer together. Do your friendships look like that? After over two years of friendship with a particular friend and a falling out, I looked to Scripture for advice. England changed me completely, from the inside out and it was time to lay issues to rest and move on. I was changed, and I hope she had too. Driving to dinner I was hopeful to hash out the past and move forward. Almost two hours later, I drove home feeling smaller than a grain of sand. 

"A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separate the best of friends" is a section taken from Proverbs 16:28. While I was driving home that evening, I vowed that this was the end; not because I was stubborn and thought she was 100% wrong, not because I didn't make an effort to extend the olive branch, but because she made me feel worthless, inferior and altogether depressed. I realized that her friendship was no longer worth pursuing because of the way she treated me over the years. I gave to that friendship more than I ever got back; I always tried to make her birthdays special, I stayed up with her hours while she vented about boyfriend issues, I defended her to others because they didn't understand what she was going through- yet here I sat at the end of it with the short end of the stick and completely alone. 

In the end of it all, no body should ever make you feel inferior, depressed, sad, hurt, ugly or just worthless. Women have such toxic relationships sometimes and continue to go back to "friends" that continually hurt them, and then we go to another friend, our mom, a cousin or a coworker and complain about them. My time is so limited here at UNCW that I don't want to waste one more minute of energy, time or emotion on a toxic relationship that will never go past the gates of college. Have more self esteem and self worth for yourself to stand up for yourself, your precious time and your mental health and walk away from these relationships. It's amazing how when you walk away from a toxic pond how the Lord will provide you with a fresh spring to invest in you.  "As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend" Proverbs 27:17